Day 80 – The Language of Love

Read: John 12:1-8, Mark 14:3-9 & Luke 10:38-42

In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman describes five ways he believes people communicate love. For some, it is physical touch, or gifts, or quality time. For others, it is acts of service or words of affirmation. Chapman teaches that if you can speak someone's love language, you can connect with them on a deeper level and express and receive love in a more satisfying way. Simple concept, but a challenging reality when you consider the constant need to translate from one love language to another. John 12 gives us a picture of three people who, in their own language and with varying degrees of sincerity, attempt to express love for God. 

First, there is Martha, the sister of Lazarus and Mary, who expressed her love through acts of service. On this occasion, Jesus was passing through town, and Lazarus and his family were throwing a party in His honor. To be more specific, Martha was throwing a party. Verse 2 tells us that it was Martha who was serving while Lazarus was reclining. Typical man. But it wasn’t just Lazarus avoiding the kitchen. We also read that Mary was preoccupied with other things as well. If this is the same occasion described in Luke 10:38-42, Martha had had her fill of doing all the work while Mary sat around at Jesus’ feet.

Second, there is Judas. That's right, Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would later betray Jesus. It's true that Judas was a thief and that his noble-sounding sentiment was a lie, but no one knew that at the time. So if we take Judas at his word, he was arguing that the money from the sale of the nard should have been used as a gift for the poor, which is, in effect, a gift given to express love for God. We know from Mark 14:4 that Judas wasn't the only disciple who felt this way.

Finally, we have Mary. Her extravagant expression of love was hard to miss and easy to criticize. That's how it goes with extravagant love. When we play it safe, when our love is subtle, we do not run the risk of being noticed or criticized. But Mary's love was unmeasured. Unlike Judas and the other disciple, Mary did not take the time to count the cost of worship. Mary did not hold back or cut corners. Jesus was worth any price. Her love was unrestrained. Cleaning someone's feet was the job of the lowest household servant, and so Mary, taking on that role, let down her hair (itself a scandalous act) and cleaned her Savior's feet. Finally, Mary's love was unselfish. I don't just mean it was generous. She clearly had no concern for herself or what anyone else thought about her or her act of love. When you are consumed with love for God, you become strangely unaware of the thoughts and critiques of others.

Now to all of you who express love for others and God through acts of service or gift giving, please do not hear me say that these are lesser ways of expressing love. There was nothing wrong with the fact that Martha worshiped Jesus through acts of service. There would have been nothing wrong with Judas and the other disciples expressing love for God by caring for the poor.  But in both of these examples we see beyond the external expressions of love into the hearts of the worshipper, and what we see is that their hearts are not satisfied in Jesus alone. That is why Martha and Judas were both quick to criticize Mary. When our love for God is more about the show than a true reflection of our hearts, we tend to be restrained, cautious and self-centered -- all the things that Mary's love was not.

This remarkable scene and these three unique characters have much to teach us about loving Jesus. Judas raised an important issue with his faux concern for the poor, but Mary shows us that when it comes to loving God, we should never allow the important to replace the essential. Martha's commitment to service is admirable, but Mary shows us that there is no place for anxiety in our relationship with God.

Jesus said it best when He responded to Martha’s concerns by saying, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her,” (Luke 10:41-42). What is the “one” thing that is needed? Mary showed us.  It is love, true love, regardless of what language you speak.

Dear Jesus,

I struggle to know how best to express my love for You.

Like Martha, I'm worried

about many things and often fail to consider the only thing that matters,

the only thing that will even endure. Help me to trade my anxiety for peace

as I fall at Your feet in worship.
Like Judas, my intentions are often clouded by selfish desires. I allow the important to crowd out the essential and misrepresent my selfishness as an act of worship.

Help me to pour out my wealth and dignity and to remain empty at Your feet.

Teach me to love You as You have loved.

Amen