Six months ago today my friend, Jared Bynum died in a terrible accident. I have been asked by many to provide the text of his funeral service in printed form. Today seemed like the appropriate day to do so. As you read this, may the memory of Jared's life and faith inspire you in your pursuit of God.
Celebrating the Life of JARED CHARLES BYNUM
It’s my privilege, on behalf of Kelly and Jared’s entire family, to welcome you here today. It is the desire of this family – and I believe it would be Jared’s as well – that this be a celebration of life, because Jared loved life to the fullest. He lived a full and abundant life. And so today we gather and we give thanks. We give thanks for the life of Jared, and while we grieve the loss, we come together to share that grief, and divide it among the hundreds of people who are here today.
On the stage beside me, you see evidence of life – a life that was lived to the fullest. And there are no regrets when we live our life in a way that honors Christ and seeks to glorify Him through the way we love other people. And so as we gather for this time of worship, we do so with a sense of loss and grief, but we also do this with a great sense of joy and thanksgiving. And we bring all of those emotions, even those in conflict, together in one place, and we set them at the feet of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves us -- who loves Jared, and Whom Jared loved – and we seek to worship and honor Him. Will you pray with me?
Lord God, we pray that You would meet us in our grief, and that You, Holy Spirit, would bring comfort in the midst of our sadness. We thank you for the joy of life. We thank you for the privilege we have to share life together, and what a gift it is. And we ask You to forgive us that we so often forget. We take it for granted and we live moment-to-moment, always looking for the next moment, and never fully enjoying the one that You have given us in the present. And so today as we’re reminded of that truth, we seek to turn our hearts and our lives toward the greater reality that we have been created for more than time, but for eternity. And we pray as we come before You today, with this mixture of emotions, that You would meet us in this place, that You would comfort, that You would magnify the joy of life, and that You would give us the hope of eternity. We thank You for the life of Jared Bynum, for the way it speaks and will continue to speak. And we pray, Father, in the midst of this time of worship, the name of the Savior that he knew and loved would be exalted. And we pray in His name, Amen.
Many of you know and have commented how much Jared loved music. One of Jared’s favorite songs is Awake, My Soul, by Mumford and Son, and there’s a lyric in that song that says, “Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” I think that’s true, and I know Jared believed that to be true. But that lyric wasn’t original to Mumford and Son. Jesus said it first, a long time ago. He said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” And if you want to know what a man loves, you should inspect how he invested his life.
Jared invested his life in several things. Kelly, he invested in you. The whole city knows now what a terrible waitress you were. So I’m really glad the law thing’s working out for you! Jared and I spoke a number of times – and he spoke of his deep, deep love for you, and as someone who has a job that often requires me to hear husbands and wives complain about one another, I can tell you what a refreshing experience that was. But he also loved his family. While I didn’t have the privilege of knowing you well, I feel like I know a lot about your story, because Jared spoke so highly of you. He loved you. He loved his friends, as is evident by what has already been shared, and by the turnout here today. Many of us feel like Jared invested something in us. If you had a conversation with him, he was fully engaged and you felt like he was investing in you.
Jared also invested in the things of God. Jared was a good man. At a stage of life when most people are completely free to be totally self-indulgent, Jared lived his life fully, but he still had time to share his talent, and his treasures to make this world a better place. He lived to fulfill the prayer of Jesus that heaven might just come a little closer to earth. I’d only been here a few months in the spring of 2009 when Jared and Kelly came to Southside. They immediately jumped in. Jared put his musical talent to use playing guitar in our worship service. Jared and Kelli sang in the choir, participated in an Easter program. I really began to know Jared on a much more personal level last summer when I’d invited him to be part of a men’s Bible study to be held early on Friday mornings. When I sent him the invitation, he replied with an email that was several clicks long. This very long e-mail contained all the reasons he couldn’t participate. He was giving me great excuses. I went back and found that email and I read it, and at the very bottom, after he listed all the reasons that he really couldn’t be a part of this men’s Bible study on Friday mornings, he wrote, and I quote, “Your proposal comes at a period when I’ve been seeking the Lord’s guidance more than ever. All this is to say, ‘I’m in.’”
Jared also served here at Southside as part of our Building Committee, using his skills as an engineer to help us re-engineer our atrium roof. That project will begin construction in the first few days of November. And so even though Jared was only at Southside for a few years, his fingerprints have been left as evidence of his love for his Lord and for his church. Because he and Kelly traveled so much on the weekends, Jared would often find me and say, “I must be the worst church member you have,” and to keep him humble, I would say, “Yes, you are.” Then I would correct him and assure him that wasn’t true. You see, there are many people who are part of churches or organizations or their companies for decades and decades and decades, and never really leave any kind of lasting contribution. Jared did so much in such a short period of time, and it’s a reminder to me, to all of us, that we should never confuse the quantity of life with the quality of life. You should never sacrifice quality for quantity. Because our impact is not measured in days and weeks and months and years, but in the way we invest our lives and the way we love others.
In the summer of 2011, we had a number of students at the church whose families were not going to be able to pay to send them to camp. The economy was bad, people had lost their jobs. I mentioned this at the end of a worship service. Jared and Kelly left church, found an ATM, withdrew enough money to pay for one student, and came back to find me to give me the cash. They said, “We want to make sure that one of those kids goes to camp.” Because of their generosity a student they would never know was able to go and experience something that had obviously made a difference in Jared’s life.
He loved people. He invested in people even if he didn’t know them. The influence of Jared’s life was not, nor should it have been, isolated to inside the walls of his church. When Southside launched a partnership with Julia Landon Middle School to provide mentors for at-risk students, Jared and Kelly were among the first to sign up. Just a few weeks ago, I had the privilege of sitting with Jared, for what I now know was the last time, as we were waiting to be assigned our students for the new year. While we were sitting there, people were recounting stories of their experiences as mentors. Jared spent the previous two years mentoring the same student through seventh grade and eighth grade. Jared told the story about how hard that first year was, that this student would come and have lunch and it would be a very awkward and long lunch because the kid just wouldn’t talk. I mean, that’s really saying something because Jared could always get somebody to talk. So the boy was quiet, stand-offish, but Jared was persistent. He never gave up on that kid. And so the second year came around and Jared signed up again and went back and had the same student. And Jared told this story – he sat in the room waiting for his student to come in, and when the student walked in, the student said, “You came back!”
“You came back!” I don’t know this for certain, but my guess is that Jared was the first adult male that had ever come back for this boy. In that first year, while Jared would have never known it, I think this kid was trying him out, to see if he would come back. And Jared did come back. And it was in that second year that Jared was able to have his biggest impact on the life of that child.
I am most honored today to announce that we are beginning the Jared Bynum College Scholarship Fund that will be used to help students who complete the mentoring program at Landon and go on to finish high school in four years and are accepted to college. It will help them go to college and achieve their dreams. If you’d like to participate in that, you can do it through the church -- just write “Jared Bynum” in the memo line. We’ll be establishing that fund, and the first of these students is scheduled to graduate in 2014. I can think of no better lasting legacy for Jared than that every year one of those kids is reminded that there are people who come back.
“You came back” is a great phrase that captures much of what could be said of Jared. He did not easily give up – not in a marathon, not in life, and not on people. It would be interesting to me if I could be inside your heads to find out what you think about stories like these. My guess is that for some here it would be something like, “Well, whatever happens after this life, Jared has surely earned something good.” While that makes logical sense, I have to tell you that Jared would disagree. You see, Jared’s kindness, his generosity were not an effort to earn God’s favor. Jared and I talked often about issues of faith, and he believed that his life was evidence of the grace that he had received from his Savior, Jesus Christ. Jared would not have told you, “I’m a good man.” He would have told you, “I’m a forgiven man.”
For some, “religion” and “church” is about earning something, but for those of us who share Jared’s belief, we know that service in life is really an expression of gratitude for the grace we’ve already received. Perhaps you are sitting here today and asking yourself the question, “How could such a terrible thing happen to such a good person?” And I would be less than honest if I didn’t say those thoughts cross all of our minds.
I’d like to share with you a story from the Bible. It can be found in the Gospel of John, chapter 11. And it’s the story of a family, two sisters and a brother – Mary, Martha and Lazarus. These were some of Jesus’ closest friends. The man, Lazarus, fell ill. Mary and Martha knew exactly what they needed to do. They needed to get Jesus there because Jesus could fix these problems. They had seen and experienced that themselves, and so they sent word to Jesus that their brother was sick. Jesus said something very odd when he heard the news. He said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory, so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” And then we’re reminded that Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet … yet – even though He loved them – yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days. Lazarus died and Jesus showed up four days later. He even missed his friend’s funeral. And so it was only natural, and one would only expect that the sisters would respond with questions. Martha goes out to meet him, and Mary shortly after, and they both make this statement: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
And it may be tempting for us to ask the question, “Where was Jesus on Sunday morning? Where is God in the middle of our loss? How can you face this tragedy and believe what was sung earlier, that our God is in control?” It’s only natural that we’d ask those questions. And it’s okay to ask them. Even Jesus’ best friends asked those questions. “Where were you? If you had only been here …” Can I tell you that He was right there Sunday morning. That He had never left Jared’s side. In the beauty of a sunrise, God was present even in the midst of the darkest tragedy.
So Mary comes out, and upon seeing Mary’s grief, we’re given the shortest verse in the entire New Testament – you all can go back to work with a Bible trivia question, and this is it -- these two simple words stand out in this story, and it’s just this … that “Jesus wept.” Jesus wept. I find that very odd because Jesus knew that He was getting ready to raise Lazarus from the dead. He knew that! So He couldn’t have been weeping because His friend was dead, because He knew what was about to come. Why did he cry? It couldn’t have been because of the grief of Mary and Martha because He knew that Mary and Martha were getting ready to experience unbelievable joy as their brother comes back to life.
And so it couldn’t have been because of the grief of Mary and Martha, so why did Jesus cry? I believe it’s because of the human condition. It’s because this is never how it was supposed to be. Parents were never supposed to bury their children. There was never supposed to be this kind of tragedy and this kind of pain in the world. That was never God’s intention. And Jesus understands and meets us in the middle of our grief and in the middle of the darkest tragedies and He shares your grief and He weeps your tears with you because this is never how it was intended to be. And even those among us who may not share Jared’s faith know deep down inside some-thing feels terribly wrong about this situation. And it’s because our hearts were created for eternity. And so Jesus weeps with us in the middle of our grief.
And so what is God’s answer? How do these two things coexist? The fact that this is not God’s intention and yet we sing and believe that our God is in control? How do they coexist? And the answer is that those two opposite truths meet at the cross of Jesus Christ, where through His death He was beginning the process of making all things new. And this is not how it will always be. There will not always be death and tragedy. There is something better coming. And there was evidence of that on the third day after Jesus’ crucifixion, when He rose from the dead, and we are told that He was the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, that there is hope for something better, that God will have His way, and He is in control.
It’s interesting to me that on Easter Sunday morning, after experiencing the grief of losing Jesus whom she loved so much, Mary – this same Mary – went to the tomb to prepare His body. And on that first Easter Sunday morning she got there and Jesus was alive! And Mary said, “You came back!” Because that’s what a resurrected life does. That’s what someone who has been transformed by the power of resurrection as found in Jesus Christ does. They come back! And it began with Jesus Christ, and it’s because of His resurrection that everything changed. It changed for Mary in this story and it changed for Jared and it can change for you and me. It’s because of Jesus’ resurrection that Jared was able to live a full and abundant life, the same abundant life that Jesus had promised. It’s because of his faith in Christ that we know Jared is living even freer today, and an even more abundant life today in God’s presence.
See, some might be tempted to think, “Poor Jared, he was cheated out of so much.” And you might be tempted to have pity for him and feel sorry for him, but you would be wrong. See, I don’t think that’s the case at all. And after talking to his family, I don’t even think they think that that’s the case. And I don’t think Jared would believe that’s the case, because Jared lived well. And for that we can rejoice and give thanks, because after all, Jared was made to meet his Maker. You were made to meet your Maker. How true! And Jared has accomplished that purpose … not because of his death, but because of his life.
Jesus once said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it to the fullest.” Jared believed that, and that is what you all loved about him. For some, faith in Christ is only about what happens when we die. But that’s not what Jesus taught, and that’s not what Jared believed. St. Irenaeus said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.” Jared brought glory to God through the life he lived, and he met his Maker both in this life and now beyond it. And the invitation stands for all of us to awaken our souls to life. And the question is left for us to answer, “What about us? Are we, are you, am I living a full and abundant life?” So you can engage in all kinds of activities and you can travel the world and you can run races and never experience a full and abundant life because the emptiness will always be there. Jared did not have that emptiness. And that’s the kind of life that comes when we fully understand and know that Jesus Christ is not merely hope after death, but He is the source of life itself. And He’s made it available to all of us … abundant and eternal life through Jesus Christ. And my prayer for you – and Jared’s prayer for you, I believe – is that you would allow your soul to awaken to that reality.
I believe it’s Jared’s life that has spoken to you today, but really the voice that you’re hearing is the voice of God as He speaks through the life that Jared lived. And I believe if Jared could say three things to us today, they might just be this …
Number one, Live! Live. Stop just existing and begin to truly live the full and abundant life for which you were created to live.
Run! The course that God has set out before you will sometimes be difficult and hard and long, and it’s a challenge, and there are times you will want to give up. But it is in the middle of the challenges and the struggles of the race that you discover that God has created you for a purpose and will sustain you to the finish line.
And finish well. There are people running beside you. Love them while you have the chance. Because unlike a race that is measured in kilometers where the finish line is clearly marked, you never know just how soon your race will end. So run in a way that you finish strong, wherever the finish line may be.
In 2 Timothy, chapter 4, verses 6-8, Paul says this, “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” In God’s great faithfulness, He extends the same invitation to all of us … to live, to run, and to finish well.
Kelly, family, I know there is a lot to grieve, but I also know that you know there is much to celebrate. He lived well and he finished strong. Will you pray with me …
Father, we thank You for the testimony of life that we have seen in Jared Bynum, not just in this hour, but across a lifetime. And I pray that his life challenges us to live, to run, and to finish well. Father, we thank You for the gift of life, and we pray that after today we would hold it with greater reverence, to understand how sacred each and every moment is. I pray, Holy Spirit, that Your comfort would be with all of the hearts that are breaking today, and that even in the midst of the grief You will remind us of the hope – the hope of resurrection – that You are a God Who comes back. Thank You … thank You for that truth. Thank You for the privilege of being able to live in that reality. For it’s in Jesus’ name that we pray. Amen.
Gary Lee Webber
Southside Baptist Church
Jacksonville, Florida
October 11, 2012
